


Baked x Beans

by xok



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Attempted Sex, Cocaine, Crack, Drug Use, Exhibitionism, Humor, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Marijuana, Sexual Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29875860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xok/pseuds/xok
Summary: There's good news, and then there's bad news.Good news: Beans isn't in trouble for walking in on Pariston and Ging.Bad news: Well, that's exactly what Beans was sent to deliver.
Relationships: Beans/Ging Freecs (one sided), Ging Freecs/Pariston Hill
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Baked x Beans

Beans wiped a tear from his eye as he clutched the Manilla Folder against his chest. Tragedy was a natural part of life. It could happen to anyone, at any time, the Grim Reaper showing up with his grubby little hands and greedy little claims. But Beans? Far from the Reaper, no, he was the Speaker. Plagued with knowledge, it was his ultimate task to share it. No matter how many times it happened, it never seemed to get easier. 

He knocked on the door. Three times. 

Knock. 

Knock. 

Knock. 

No response. 

Beans looked at his watch, a bit puzzled. Pariston should have made it back to his office now, he usually spent his break times there. It wasn’t officially on his schedule, but Beans had strategically observed and made mental notes of his exact place and time at any given moment during the day. For business purposes, obviously. 

“Anyone in?” Beans inquired as he opened the gates to hell. 

Beans had walked in on his coworkers doing sketchy things before, some more sketchy than others. Mizaistom refilling the milk jug, Gel stealing files, Ginta sleeping on the job. He normally kept his mouth shut by it. It was common practice; he never got into shit for witnessing things because, well, he never spilled the beans. But with the scene before him, his jaw was dropped all the way to the floor. 

It was as if he walked into the opening scene of a B grade porno, with Ging sitting with his bits out in Pariston’s swivel chair, and Pariston ready to go to town. 

“Should I come back…. another… time…” Beans felt smaller than he normally did, and it wasn’t because he got a peak at Ging’s slightly-smaller-than-average-but-still-longer-than-his dick. No, he felt fundamentally small. Insignificant. Unwelcome. 

Ging grimaced awkwardly. 

“Is that not implied?”

“I mean, it’s just Beans,” said Pariston, third personing him to his face. He shrugged his broad shoulders. Did he wear shoulder pads? Beans couldn’t be sure, and he would never dare ask. Some things were better left unknown. 

“I, uh,” said Beans, at a loss for words. But really, what words _were_ appropriate for such a situation. “Really, it’s no trouble to come back later, I can just do my other rounds first-”

“Finally, someone to pay attention to _us,”_ Pariston hummed to himself. He ushered for Beans to take a seat on his couch, long talon-like fingers beckoning him over for a treat he couldn’t refuse. “Although it would be rude of me to not let you in on the fun, can I get you anything?” Pariston opened his desk drawer. 

“Don’t let him give you anything that starts with a vowel,” warned Ging. Beans nodded politely and pretended he understood what Ging meant. 

“Oh, just something to take the nerves off,” said Pariston, handing him the bougiest looking blunt he had ever seen. Knowing Pariston, it was probably more than his paycheck. Wait. _Was_ this his paycheck? 

Pariston lit it for him and handed it over. Whatever edge the conversation had before started to smooth out into a curve. Ah, that was certainly better. 

A few more puffs and he was completely relaxed. That was, until he was taken completely by surprise with the event transpiring before him. 

Pariston snorted the line of coke off Ging’s dick like a Dyson Cyclone V10™ vacuum, ultimate suction. 

“Make sure you don’t leave it on my junk for too long or I’ll lose feeling,” lectured Ging, squirming uncomfortably in the chair. 

“Not everything is about you,” said Pariston, breathing in sharply as he wiped his nose on his sleeve, two times more than normal. 

“Coming from you, I’m not sure you understand that concept,” said Ging, with a smirk on his face. Beans eagerly listened to their banter. It seemed slightly more friendly when they were in private, good to note. He always knew there was sexual tension between the two, but now at least he knew it wasn’t unresolved. 

“Are you going to do anything?” asked Beans, noticing that Ging wasn’t baked like him, or coked up like Pariston. Ging shrugged. 

“Between you and me, I’m just here to get my dick sucked,” said Ging, putting his hand to the side of his mouth so Pariston wouldn’t hear. Except he didn’t whisper, and Pariston definitely did hear. If he cared, Beans couldn’t tell. 

“So is this a regular occurrence, or…?”

“Sounds like someone’s prying around for information,” said Pariston, resting his oversized hand on Beans’s head, turning him slightly to look him in the eyes. “What happens outside of work hours stays outside of work hours.”  
“These are technically work hours, but I’m not going to tell anyone,” said Beans slowly. “No one would believe me anyways.” Pariston seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded, about six times more than necessary. 

“Why did I come in here anyways,” slurred Beans, comfortably slinking down into his chair. Man, who knew Pariston and Ging were both such likeable people!

Ging pointed over to the manilla envelope. 

“You walked in with that,” he gestured. Beans nodded. That was right! He was supposed to give some news, now what was it again? He opened the envelope and familiarized himself with the contents. 

“Oh yeah. Chairman Netero died.”

There was an ominous tingle in the air, the kind that lingers and gets where it’s not supposed to be. Beans felt his nipples portentously harden at the tension he had created. Wait. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. 

And then it happened, coming quicker than anyone expected, and quite frankly, out of nowhere. 

It was quite a sight, one that would haunt his nightmares and therapy sessions for a good decade to come: Pariston Hill, uncontrollably bawling his eyes out between Ging’s hairy thighs. Beans would have pegged Pariston as a quiet crier, tears silently pooling up and rolling down his perfect cheeks as if he were in a Ghibli movie. The sight before him was quite the opposite. No, unlike Ghibli, Pariston was a lot more… dribbly. His face was _visibly_ a mess; blotchy, grotty, and spotty. 

“You seriously couldn’t have waited until afterwards to break the news!?” exclaimed Ging. If Beans wasn’t close to being refried, Ging’s exasperation would have put him out. “Now I have to wait until next week to get a god damn blowjob nice fucking going.” 

Beans looked down at the mess before him, though he didn’t want to. He couldn’t decide if Ging was being callous, or if Pariston was gonna milk this for all the cheese it was worth. 

“Next week?”

“I don’t want him to blow me all like this,” said Ging, waving his hand in front of his face to draw attention to the mess Pariston was making on his thighs with his tears. “I mean, it would be one thing if _I_ caused the meltdown, kind of hot now that I think about it…. But he’s all distracted now, he’s gonna half ass it.”

Pariston looked up with him with his big beady eyes. Ging gave him a half smile, half scowl, clearly confused about what emotion he was supposed to feel here. 

“N-netero is…” Pariston’s bottom lip quivered. 

“If Beans leaves the room will you quit crying?” asked Ging. Was Pariston putting on an act right now to please him? Beans suddenly felt a bit more important. Only marginally, though. 

“Damn, now I gotta wait until he does lines again,” said Ging under his breath.

“Why not come back later?” asked Beans. 

“I like it when he blows me all coked up ‘cause it gives him this sort of vibration that’s really hard to replicate,” explained Ging, resting his hand on top of Pariston’s head. Beans was unsure if this was meant to be a comforting gesture or if he was ready to push his head off. But the addition of a slight head pat coupled with Ging’s confused expression confirmed the former. 

Now was his chance. Beans felt his cheeks get greener as he decided to shoot his shot. Hopefully he wouldn’t miss.

“Ging,” said Beans, looking bashfully over at him. “If you want, maybe I could blow you?”

Ging looked at him as if he had suggested cannibalism. 

“Shit, nope, nope, nope, I’m out,” said Ging, pushing the crying blond out of his lap as he got up out of the chair. Beans’ eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of Ging’s ding, still handing out of his pants as he hastily pulled them up on his breakaway out the door. 

“Hold me,” said Pariston, grabbing onto Beans with his sticky yaoi fingers. “I can’t believe he’s gone. Oh, Beans, it’s tragic, really. He had such a long life ahead of him, so many plans, and adventures, and-

“Hmm, sorry, I don’t think I can do this, I have to get back to the wife and kids,” said Beans, tapping on his watch. He peeled Pariston’s fingers off his suit. “So I’ll see you later?” 

Pariston opened his mouth to speak; nothing but a squeak came out. Beans sighed. So this is what it took to finally get him to stop talking. Not just the coke, not just the bad news, but an unsavory combination of both. He was just a difficult kind of person.

Beans awkwardly exited the room. What the fuck?? He needed time to process what he had just witnessed. Was witnessed the right word, as he had technically been a part of it? Was this his doing? Beans furrowed his…. forehead… together as he slouched on the opposite side of the shut door. This was definitely going to come up during couples counseling. 

**Author's Note:**

> Beans is scarred for life. 
> 
> Comments feed my desire to write more fics so if you liked it let me know your thoughts!
> 
> And if you didn't like it, well :P sorry


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